Asado de Despedida

Las fotos del asado de despedida que tuvimos Pacho y yo en Bogotá antes de partir. No logré capturar las últimas horas de la fiesta y el desorden pero...algo es algo y lo mas importante es que se paso BUENO!

Here are some pics from a Goodbye-BBQ we had a week before leaving Bogotá. It was a great party, especially because I had the opportunity to see friends I hadn't seen in a while and really enjoy every minute of the afternoon/night with people I care about. Now, looking back, I remember what a terrible morning I had that day...it was simply awful and I was incredibly angry (I even sort of blacked out where I put my stupid phone at one point ant literally lost it somewhere between the moving boxes in my apartment for days). But, although I started the day terribly wrong it's great to see how things improved and a reminder that there is no point to being angry over stupid little things because at the end of the day its all about sharing and enjoying the time we have. 

I'm not adding any captions tonight because it's almost midnight and I need to get up early for work tommorow.

Reminiscing...

Me encontré estas fotos en el compu de mi mamá y me acordé de este paseo tan rico que tuvimos en septiembre de 2009 a San Francisco, fue un paseo increíble!

I was looking through my moms computer and found some pictures from our trip to SF in september 2009. It was definitely one of the best times of my life.

Summary

It feels like I haven’t written in forever! I really miss having my space here to get thoughts out into the world but these past weeks have been crazy. So, this post is going to be a little summary of my life recently.

Birthday celebration – Last Tuesday (July 31st) I had a dinner celebration for my birthday. My uncle made AMAZING paella (it weighed 11.5 kg) and I had friends and family over. I made two delicious cheesecakes which were loved by everyone so it’s good to know my cheesecake recipe worked. A few days earlier I wrote to all my friends and family telling them about my trip to South Africa and you know, saying that in case they wanted to give me some birthday or graduation present, money would be the best thing for me at the time! I was seriously in shock and amazed at my birthday presents during this dinner, I still am to be honest…not only the fact that I got this money but I simply felt so much support and love from everyone there that it was pretty overwhelming. I am thankful from the bottom of my heart for everyone that came to spend that night with me, it was really great and it was nice having a birthday celebration!

Work – These past two weeks I have been working with my mom at her daycare. Last week was planning and this week has been first week of school. I am an assistant teacher with the kids aged 3.5-4 years and it has been great! I get home completely exhausted every day but the experience is wonderful and kids really amaze me. It’s incredibly for me to see how different they are, some of them can be talking and go to the bathroom by themselves and others a few months older or the same age haven’t gotten to that stage yet. Their personalities, creativity and ideas amaze me every day and it has simply been a great experience.

Friends – I am so tired from works that during the week I rarely see any friends or have any energy to go out but I have been able to see some of my friends and it’s been great, non-stop talking sessions. Tomorrow I’ll be going to an impromptu class reunion which is going to be great because some of the people who are going I haven’t seen in years (left school in middle school) so I’m sure tomorrow night will be a beer-drinking, crazy-story telling fun evening.

Family – My relationship with my parents has been pretty great, I’m taking advantage of being with them and cuddle in bed or hang out watching stupid TV shows or the Olympics (I love watching Olympics). We do have our occasional fights and what not but overall it’s pretty great, I love seeing how supportive my dad is with my mom’s new venture and feel that they’re in a good place. I’m also very proud of my mom for starting her school, it’s going to be a wild and crazy ride for sure but I’m so happy she finally decided to go ahead and do it and do it with so much love and passion. Working with her I have learned so much and admire what she does and knows, although I get very annoyed at the way some people abuse of her goodness and she won’t stand up for herself.

On the way back from the beach two weekends ago I felt my brother, it was strange but great. We were just driving back, my parents talking about who knows what and I just felt that we were complete, the four of us, my brother sitting on the other side of the car just…there. I pictured him taller than me, with his messy hair and mainly a big smile. I miss him and yes, my eyes water and tears roll down while I write this because I will always wish it were true, I will always wish that he was still physically here with us, but I know and am accepting the fact that is will not happen and that I need to live. This trip I’m about to begin (oh wow, in a month and 4 days actually) I really want to focus on me, on being alone and looking in and figuring myself out, coming to terms with life, really letting go and trying to find a new spark in life that I feel I lost years ago…Right now its just a tiny spark that comes and goes but I want it to fully explode, and light a fire inside me and keep that fire burning for many, many years to come.

Alright…that was pretty short (I could write pages on each of the subjects) and it’s almost midnight and I have to wake up in 6 hours so, goodnight. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more often, promise I’ll do my best  ( no computer at the time so it makes it harder…and just too tired to sit and think and write, but I know I have to do it, it really helps). 

Happy Birthday to Me!

This weekend was my 24th birthday, no big bash, no big celebration, just enjoying the beach, watching the olympics and eating way too much. I went to my parents friends' house in Bijao with my parents and 2 other couples friends of my parents, it was very relaxing and sadly there was no sun so no tan but it was still great. 
I was tired on friday night so I slept a little and then at around 11:45 woke up to chat a little outside but the conversation was too heated to get in when I had just woken up...so, I went back to bed and checked my watch right when I stepped inside..it was 11.59 pm, and basically the first 10 min of my birthday I cried...I really don't know what I was crying about but I just felt like crying. Its weird...being back home and having Panama as my "home base" but not really feeling it, my room doesn't feel mine and I know I'll only be here for a month so I dont feel or think that settling in has a point. Sure, my parents are here and I love being with them but its weird being in-transit...at home...I'm not unhappy, im simply kind of trying to find my place, physically, here again. Perhaps thats why this past week I've been so "in hiding", I haven't seen any of my friends yet and I feel its because im trying to find my spot, my focus, and a rythm of my day-to-day activities. I also realize that hey, I'm only here for a month, and I need to take advantage of that and see the people I care about and that care about me so starting tommorow with my bday celebration dinner I'm getting off my lazy butt and doing something about my social life, enjoying the people around me as much as I can!




Here are some pictures of the weekend, it was gray and rainy on sunday (and the rain has continued throughout the whole day today) but it was still a great birthday weekend and just what I needed.

A great way to start the day, normal and banana pancakes

These are the breakfasts I love

I love Panama

Two gorgeous ladies, an awesome friendship

The best woman in the world, my momma!

Champagne and good conversations

Relaxation 

Perfection

Chill

One year older

Thinking of you...

And this is how I enjoy spending my birthday...I'm an old lady, I know.

Daddy

My birthday company

Time for dinner!

An incredibly simple and delicious recipe!

My mom struggles using my camera

S.A here I come!!... well..almost

I did it! My first international bank transfer...I have oficially paid both my photography and marine conservation volunteer programs, I have bought my plane tickets...and I only have like $1,000 left for, well, everything! I'm scared about the money stuff but im excited, with everything bought already I know I'm going there no matter what and I'll worry about food and hotels during my weeks of travel laters (I'm a very cheap traveler...just ask my mom whom I made sleep at Munich airport just so we'd save the cab fare).
Now I need to get all my papers in order to send my passport out for the visa application - THAT makes me nervous, especially because I need my passport back on time to go to Bogota for my graduation. I also need to buy my insurance tommorow morning, not sure about getting normal or premium though. The difference is $50,000 vs $250,000 for coverage and like $85 difference in total so...I'll probably get the premium, its not that much more and honestly better be safe than sorry!


I have no idea how I'll fall asleep tonight, too excited about life! I'm gonna go give a try though, goodnight everyone!

ByeBye Bogota

To start with, YEY my picture of Rudolf was one of the favorites for the Paper Mama Pet Photo Challenge..although for some darn reason I can't seem to get the button to work, all I get is this: 

<div align="center"><a href="http://thepapermama.com/" title="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7049/6973777489_f5b60d9504_o.jpg" alt="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Clearly I'm a newbie in the blogging world.

Yey! I did it! After many attempts and apparently I wasn't the only one having problems.

So, it happened...I said goodbye to Bogota and it was a lot harder than I thought. I mean, I know I’m going back in a month and I'll see everyone again but still...it was tough. It's closing a whole cycle of my life, four years of my life were spent there...I met friends, I traveled, I lived! Still, it didn't hit me until I was saying goodbye at the airport to some of my friends and Mr. P's family who has taken me in with so much love. 

Saying bye to Mr. P was definitely much, much harder than I expected, I think harder than we both thought it would be. I can't imagine what it must have felt for him...not saying bye to me but saying goodbye to his home city, to his family and friends, and going to a whole new country where he doesn't know anyone at all to start a new life! Heck, I'm nervous for him! 

I know I will see Mr. P in a month for a few days, I know it was me who made the decision not to go with him, to venture on my own for this self-exploration that I need to do…but still, there were a couple of times when we were waiting for my plane to beard that I doubted myself, I doubted my decision, there were a few seconds where I said to myself “are you really sure about what you’re doing?” but then I knew, I know, it is the right thing.

I am aware that things might not be the same with Mr. P after I get back, that I might stay in Panama or find somewhere else to go in life, but it is a risk I feel I have to take. I cannot go through life wondering what could have been, and then find myself in five years regretting decisions I did or didn’t take. Many people asked him if he wasn’t nervous, why he would “let” me do such a thing and his response and his support towards me just shows what a wonderful man he is…he understands me, he knows what I mean and I know that he needs his space to. He needs to be on his own as well, figure things out, what it’s like to be alone not in Moms house or with his girlfriend but really “out there”.

Truth is right now I miss him a lot…I know he’s alone in a hotel room and Im just very nostalgic about those last moments of the day, when we would cuddle in bed and tell each other everything about our day, being silly and petting Martina. Those little moments are the ones I miss the most and would love to have for just a few minutes daily…

                                                                                                                 
Goodnight for today, start working tomorrow morning and I’m sure it’s going to be  a long first day (aren't they always?)