Jane Goodall is my rockstar

Up until today I thought EVERYONE knew who Jane Goodall was. Apparently, I was wrong seeing as everyone I told I was going to a Jane Goodall talk that night had no idea who she was. I shared this concern to my mom and she reassured me that I was the weird one, and that no…she isn’t up there with The Beatles for everyone. Because yes, today seeing Dr. Goodall felt the same as the day I went to see Paul McCartney in concert. Some people might think I’m insane or even offended by that comment but its the truth…to me, Jane Goodall is a freaking rock star.

I had completely disconnected myself from how much her story amazed me at such a young age and I am pretty damn sure it stayed in my head and became a part of who I am today. My mom clearly remembers the day I got home with a library book extremely excited telling her about how this woman had gone into the jungle to live and learn about chimps. See…the thing about Jane Goodall, to me, wasn’t about what she discovered in her investigations – it was about her. This woman broke the rules, she redefined the way we see animals and the way we practice science. She went at the age of 23, without a college degree, into Africa, to learn about chimps. She was a dreamer, but didn’t stay dreaming…she did it. She freaking lived it! Even more amazing, after achieving her life long dream, she realized that it wasn’t all about HER dream or what she loved doing, but that she could help others and that her story and her life could give HOPE to those around her. In the past decades her organization has focused on the youth, on giving them support and maintaining that hope for humanity alive. I have said many times I have lost my faith in humanity, that’s why I like animals so much better…it’s a very sad thing to say and feel but just turning on the TV or reading a newspaper would confirm that phrase. However, there are moments, there are people I have met, and today was a reminder of those…there are people that aren’t bad. There are some that haven’t given up, that think of solutions and go out there and make the changes they want to see happen.

(I’m still sticking to animals though).

Anywho, this might just be a bunch of jibbery talk from a very excited person…but if you have read this far, just take a couple of minutes and read up on Jane Goodall’s life, her goals, her achievements, that sense of tranquility that she manages to irradiate. Maybe you’ll understand me a little better because I think I just unlocked a piece of the puzzle in the “who am i?” game.

Have a goodnight, I’m going to bed happy and I hope you are too.

A little midnight ramble...

Six years ago today I went to bed like any other day, not expecting that in less that 24h my world would be moved upside down and broken. I don't remember anything too particular from that day, watched some funny videos with my brother on youtube, went to bed. No red flags, no warning, nop, nothing. Life is simply that, unexpected. No matter how ready you are for things, life will make sure to change your plans somehow,  by little changes or massive ones. 
A year ago I embarked on a very exciting and surprising journey in which I said goodbye to having this one day, this one event, affect me in a completely negative way and simply accept it as part of my path in life. I decided not to allow it define me anymore. A year ago today I was freaking out a little over the 9th of november, I didn't want it to be a big deal. It still affected me, it was still a sad day and I cried when I heard my mom on the phone and thought about you so much. But, I didn't want to let it define me and "ruin" my day. Hey, I was in the middle of the african bush, what I had to do was live it, and appreciate every second of that day. I try to do that every day now...appreciate. Be grateful. For life is too short and too unexpected to be in angst, to feel bummed over silly things, to not be PRESENT. 
Take a moment, stop, and think about your like right this moment: About today, how you felt, what you did, what you said or didn't get to say...are you happy with what you did? with who you are? where you're going? 
I tried to make this a short post but I guess I'm just too good at rambling. Bottom line is, LIFE CHANGES. People change, cities change, time takes it toll every second and we have to be aware of it. Take advantage of time, enjoy the little things and be thankful for every passing day (even for the shitt days), tell those around you that you love them, live without regrets. 

Travel Day 1

Monday September 17, 2012. 14:40

Well ,I’m here! In the waiting room…waiting. The flight is a bit delayed apparently because boarding time was at 2:15 ant its 2:40 (I hope I’m in the right place). I still feel very anxious and nervous, not about the flying but about the whole getting in the country, not having my bags lost, you know…all that annoying airport stuff which is simply annoying to deal with.

I still don’t know the dates of what I’ll be doing but I certainly have things in mind I definitely want to do! Diving..for sure! I’m planning to hike Drakensberg which seems AMAZING (even though I’m a bit scared of the actual hiking, mainly because I don’t want to feel like I’m the one lagging behind and I probably will be). I have my month at Thanda which I’m super excited about, still not sure if I’ll be able to go Oct-Nov instead of Nov-Dec (hopefully I will be). I’m also planning on doing the Baz Bus from Joh-Cape Town or Joh-Port Elizabeth, it all depends on dates basically.

Monday September 17, 2012. 15:50

Im flying! The sun is out, it’s a beautiful day, blue sky, little clouds. I honestly tried not to be scared, I really wasn’t…until the plane started to go through the runway, and those initial 10 minutes are just not my favorite time of the day. Luckily its been a smooth ride so far – FUCK, seriously?! I just typed that and in less than 10 seconds the plane starts shaking…I’m freaking out here, I really don’t like the shaking – it isn’t like the time I got my crazy on, but it would still be nice to be able to squeeze someone’s hand at least! Ugh…it wont stop! Ok…it seems to be calming down a bit.

Honestly I am so tired I can’t even write much…I slept like 3-4 hours last night and I’ve been waking up at 2, 3 and 4 am for over a week to check my email because that’s the time I get S.A emails. So far, its all going good…again, I’m nervous about the whole immigrations process, its really isn’t fun for me and I wish the world didn’t have all these borders (for that we would need the world to be in peace and well, sadly history has showed us that is impossible…so far!)

I’m hungry, ate an early lunch and was way too nervous to eat before getting on so now I think im gonna have to pay $4 for a bag of potato chips (que robo!).

The pilot just spoke, if im not mistaken I land at 8pm in Miami which is not too good seeing as my plane leaves at 9 and I have to go through customs AND immigration! I hope It’ll be fast and I have enough time to buy some FOOD before hopping on.

K, goodnighty for now! Nap time!

Monday September 17, 2012. 21:45

Im on my way to Washington Dulles! Miami airport wasn’t that bad, the people were actually very nice…the immigation officer was extra chatty which was nice when you talked to him but it was a serious pain having to wait for him to get through everyone in line because it took forever! It’s also so different once you have to check in to domestic flights, airport security is seriously stressful…the lines are not only long (that is something you can deal with) but its just they make you take all kinds of things out of your bag, your shoes and then rush you out so I clearly almost left my laptop which would have been AWFUL.

I think part of the lesson I’m supposed to learn from this whole experience is patience…and letting go of things. My visa didn’t get here on time, I had to cancel one of my programs, my flight was late, and then I had to wait more than anyone else in line during immigration. I’m all for learning things but I just hope I don’t get a crazy lesson tomorrow on my way to Johannesburg.

I didn’t get much sleep my past flight and had like 15min to connect flights after immigration, customs, security and then getting to gate so I could only eat half of a very expensive sandwich and now my eyes are like on fire! Not sleeping is not good…

Tuesday, September 18 2012. 1:21 am

I made it! Remind me never again to get a shuttle so late at night, I had to wait for 45 min before we left! Next time, I rather pay more but get some sleep! G’night!!

My battle: Getting to South Africa

I'm Colombian, I'm proud of it but damn it can be seriously frustrating at times, mainly when it comes to traveling. Having that burgundy red passport is like having the coodies or something, any consulate, embassy or airport will simply look down on you or catalogue you as "guilty" for drug dealing, drug consumig, drug producing, prostitution, you name it. So, you can imagine what an ordeal it is for anyone with a little burgundy passport to get a visa to go, well..basically anywhere! Even though there are countries that don't require colombians to have a visa (mainly South America which in the past years has "opened up") you basically have to get a transit visa in order to get to them.

I have traveled to the following countries, all of whom have required for me to apply for a visa: U.S.A, The Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Austria, Italy (all these Schengen), Czech Republic, Switzerland, Mexico, Costa Rica and Guatemala. Argentina and Peru have been two countries I have been to that don't require visa for colombians.

Now, as you all may know im planning to go to South Africa. Off course I need a visa to go to South Africa...so, I sent my papers and they arrived at the consulate the 30th of July. I waited 10 days before calling because those were the days it took for the process of the visa to go through. The 10th day I call...and I get told that my papers aren't ready and I need a stamp on some documents, yata yata yata. Long story short, basically a whole other month goes by with failed calls, getting hung up on by the oh-so-nice secretary from the consulate and a lot of un-responded emails. (btw, the consulate of South Africa dealing with Colombians is in Venezuela).  I hear from other colombians who have traveled to South Africa and learn I am not the only one, some got their passports 2 hours before heading to the airport, another 2 days before leaving...basically last minute.

So, my flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow September 12th at 3 p.m to Washington Dulles via Miami. My flight to South Africa is scheduled to leave September 13th from Washington Dulles at 5:30 p.m. 
My visa was approved yesterday, Monday September 10, at 3:30 pm. I ran over to DHL and begged the guy so my passport would be picked up today and I could have it here in Panama by tomorrow Wednesday before noon. Papers are sent, things are on their way. Today I hear from the woman at the consulate telling me that without an air guide the guy from DHL won't take my passport because its happened before. I call DHL dude in Panama and he tells me the guide will be made when the thing is picked up, he doesn't create the guide but Venezuela DHL created the guide. Ok, so I wait...(mind you, Hugo Chaves decided for some crazy ass reason that Venezuela time was 30min ahead than it actually should be so, 3 here is 3:30 there, and at 4 they closed the consulate). By 3:30 the DHL guy hadn't gone to pick up the passport, I gave up. Suddenly I get a call that the guy is there but there is no guide so he won't take it. Long story short, I'm screwed. Big time screwed. The consulate is closed, the guy left because there was no guide, there is absolutely NO chance of my passport getting to Panama before   my flight. It can get here Thursday morning.

Before I even knew I had my visa approved (I emailed and called Thursday and Friday and wasn't really told anything, that I would or wouldn't get it or how long it could take, they just dont answer anything) I called South Africa Airlines to find out how much it would cost to move my flight one day (for friday 14th instead of thursday 13) and well the answer was $685 dollars - to change my flight 24h.  
So, now that I KNOW I don't have my passport I have to move EVERYTHING around because there is no chance in hell im paying $700 dollars for 24h (not including what my flight Panama-Washington change is going to cost). 

The plan so far: 
1 - Originally I was scheduled to go to the Thanda Photography Conservation project from Sept. 16-October 14, travel for 2 weeks and then begin on Nov. 1 my Sodwana Bay conservation volunteering. 
2 - The Sodwana project begins the 1st of every month. 
3 - Solution: Change my Sodwana Bay volunteer to the month of October instead of November. And change Thanda to begin Nov. 11 - Dec. 9.
4 - Change my South African tickets could cost me $400 dollars (changing both ways), which would mean I can go the 18th or the 20th and come back December 17th. 

Basically, I move everything about a week. It's still a LOT of money because that was basically the money I had to spend IN South Africa but I can't really think of any other solution. Only inconvenience is the time change, I can't hear back from any of the coordinators confirming my changes until tomorrow between 2-3 a.m but I know that I have to change my tickets ASAP so I guess I'll just have to change them and hope for the best.




Life has taught me everything happens for a reason even though we might not always or ever understand those reasons. I know there had to be a reason for my brother dying, even though I might not want to recognize it. All this ordeal had to happen for a reason, maybe to relax and not stress about money so much (even though I am freaking the eff out over all this money that changing tickets will cost), perhaps its because I was meant to be in Panama this week and enjoy time with my mom who is on vacations and my grandparents who happen to be here this week. I honestly do not know WHY all this happened, why I had to deal with such awful people at the consulate and why seriously ever little thing that could have gone wrong - did! (including the fact that I was dialing 30min straight to contact the consulate, and when someone important actually picked up (a south african not the venezuelan bitchy secretary) my cellphone ran out of minutes and cut the call). Life simply works strangely, I think we're never really supposed to understand it (it would become pretty boring don't you think?). So now, im off to making a bunch of calls and hoping for the best, I guess I have one more week in Panama to enjoy.


This post may sound all cheery and happy but trust me, my eyes still get watery with frustration when I have to explain what happened to someone and im still really upset about it...but I know, inside, everything I just wrote..perhaps writing it down makes it more "real" to me and I can really assimilate it.  

Summary

It feels like I haven’t written in forever! I really miss having my space here to get thoughts out into the world but these past weeks have been crazy. So, this post is going to be a little summary of my life recently.

Birthday celebration – Last Tuesday (July 31st) I had a dinner celebration for my birthday. My uncle made AMAZING paella (it weighed 11.5 kg) and I had friends and family over. I made two delicious cheesecakes which were loved by everyone so it’s good to know my cheesecake recipe worked. A few days earlier I wrote to all my friends and family telling them about my trip to South Africa and you know, saying that in case they wanted to give me some birthday or graduation present, money would be the best thing for me at the time! I was seriously in shock and amazed at my birthday presents during this dinner, I still am to be honest…not only the fact that I got this money but I simply felt so much support and love from everyone there that it was pretty overwhelming. I am thankful from the bottom of my heart for everyone that came to spend that night with me, it was really great and it was nice having a birthday celebration!

Work – These past two weeks I have been working with my mom at her daycare. Last week was planning and this week has been first week of school. I am an assistant teacher with the kids aged 3.5-4 years and it has been great! I get home completely exhausted every day but the experience is wonderful and kids really amaze me. It’s incredibly for me to see how different they are, some of them can be talking and go to the bathroom by themselves and others a few months older or the same age haven’t gotten to that stage yet. Their personalities, creativity and ideas amaze me every day and it has simply been a great experience.

Friends – I am so tired from works that during the week I rarely see any friends or have any energy to go out but I have been able to see some of my friends and it’s been great, non-stop talking sessions. Tomorrow I’ll be going to an impromptu class reunion which is going to be great because some of the people who are going I haven’t seen in years (left school in middle school) so I’m sure tomorrow night will be a beer-drinking, crazy-story telling fun evening.

Family – My relationship with my parents has been pretty great, I’m taking advantage of being with them and cuddle in bed or hang out watching stupid TV shows or the Olympics (I love watching Olympics). We do have our occasional fights and what not but overall it’s pretty great, I love seeing how supportive my dad is with my mom’s new venture and feel that they’re in a good place. I’m also very proud of my mom for starting her school, it’s going to be a wild and crazy ride for sure but I’m so happy she finally decided to go ahead and do it and do it with so much love and passion. Working with her I have learned so much and admire what she does and knows, although I get very annoyed at the way some people abuse of her goodness and she won’t stand up for herself.

On the way back from the beach two weekends ago I felt my brother, it was strange but great. We were just driving back, my parents talking about who knows what and I just felt that we were complete, the four of us, my brother sitting on the other side of the car just…there. I pictured him taller than me, with his messy hair and mainly a big smile. I miss him and yes, my eyes water and tears roll down while I write this because I will always wish it were true, I will always wish that he was still physically here with us, but I know and am accepting the fact that is will not happen and that I need to live. This trip I’m about to begin (oh wow, in a month and 4 days actually) I really want to focus on me, on being alone and looking in and figuring myself out, coming to terms with life, really letting go and trying to find a new spark in life that I feel I lost years ago…Right now its just a tiny spark that comes and goes but I want it to fully explode, and light a fire inside me and keep that fire burning for many, many years to come.

Alright…that was pretty short (I could write pages on each of the subjects) and it’s almost midnight and I have to wake up in 6 hours so, goodnight. Hopefully I’ll be able to write more often, promise I’ll do my best  ( no computer at the time so it makes it harder…and just too tired to sit and think and write, but I know I have to do it, it really helps). 

Happy Birthday to Me!

This weekend was my 24th birthday, no big bash, no big celebration, just enjoying the beach, watching the olympics and eating way too much. I went to my parents friends' house in Bijao with my parents and 2 other couples friends of my parents, it was very relaxing and sadly there was no sun so no tan but it was still great. 
I was tired on friday night so I slept a little and then at around 11:45 woke up to chat a little outside but the conversation was too heated to get in when I had just woken up...so, I went back to bed and checked my watch right when I stepped inside..it was 11.59 pm, and basically the first 10 min of my birthday I cried...I really don't know what I was crying about but I just felt like crying. Its weird...being back home and having Panama as my "home base" but not really feeling it, my room doesn't feel mine and I know I'll only be here for a month so I dont feel or think that settling in has a point. Sure, my parents are here and I love being with them but its weird being in-transit...at home...I'm not unhappy, im simply kind of trying to find my place, physically, here again. Perhaps thats why this past week I've been so "in hiding", I haven't seen any of my friends yet and I feel its because im trying to find my spot, my focus, and a rythm of my day-to-day activities. I also realize that hey, I'm only here for a month, and I need to take advantage of that and see the people I care about and that care about me so starting tommorow with my bday celebration dinner I'm getting off my lazy butt and doing something about my social life, enjoying the people around me as much as I can!




Here are some pictures of the weekend, it was gray and rainy on sunday (and the rain has continued throughout the whole day today) but it was still a great birthday weekend and just what I needed.

A great way to start the day, normal and banana pancakes

These are the breakfasts I love

I love Panama

Two gorgeous ladies, an awesome friendship

The best woman in the world, my momma!

Champagne and good conversations

Relaxation 

Perfection

Chill

One year older

Thinking of you...

And this is how I enjoy spending my birthday...I'm an old lady, I know.

Daddy

My birthday company

Time for dinner!

An incredibly simple and delicious recipe!

My mom struggles using my camera

S.A here I come!!... well..almost

I did it! My first international bank transfer...I have oficially paid both my photography and marine conservation volunteer programs, I have bought my plane tickets...and I only have like $1,000 left for, well, everything! I'm scared about the money stuff but im excited, with everything bought already I know I'm going there no matter what and I'll worry about food and hotels during my weeks of travel laters (I'm a very cheap traveler...just ask my mom whom I made sleep at Munich airport just so we'd save the cab fare).
Now I need to get all my papers in order to send my passport out for the visa application - THAT makes me nervous, especially because I need my passport back on time to go to Bogota for my graduation. I also need to buy my insurance tommorow morning, not sure about getting normal or premium though. The difference is $50,000 vs $250,000 for coverage and like $85 difference in total so...I'll probably get the premium, its not that much more and honestly better be safe than sorry!


I have no idea how I'll fall asleep tonight, too excited about life! I'm gonna go give a try though, goodnight everyone!

ByeBye Bogota

To start with, YEY my picture of Rudolf was one of the favorites for the Paper Mama Pet Photo Challenge..although for some darn reason I can't seem to get the button to work, all I get is this: 

<div align="center"><a href="http://thepapermama.com/" title="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7049/6973777489_f5b60d9504_o.jpg" alt="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Clearly I'm a newbie in the blogging world.

Yey! I did it! After many attempts and apparently I wasn't the only one having problems.

So, it happened...I said goodbye to Bogota and it was a lot harder than I thought. I mean, I know I’m going back in a month and I'll see everyone again but still...it was tough. It's closing a whole cycle of my life, four years of my life were spent there...I met friends, I traveled, I lived! Still, it didn't hit me until I was saying goodbye at the airport to some of my friends and Mr. P's family who has taken me in with so much love. 

Saying bye to Mr. P was definitely much, much harder than I expected, I think harder than we both thought it would be. I can't imagine what it must have felt for him...not saying bye to me but saying goodbye to his home city, to his family and friends, and going to a whole new country where he doesn't know anyone at all to start a new life! Heck, I'm nervous for him! 

I know I will see Mr. P in a month for a few days, I know it was me who made the decision not to go with him, to venture on my own for this self-exploration that I need to do…but still, there were a couple of times when we were waiting for my plane to beard that I doubted myself, I doubted my decision, there were a few seconds where I said to myself “are you really sure about what you’re doing?” but then I knew, I know, it is the right thing.

I am aware that things might not be the same with Mr. P after I get back, that I might stay in Panama or find somewhere else to go in life, but it is a risk I feel I have to take. I cannot go through life wondering what could have been, and then find myself in five years regretting decisions I did or didn’t take. Many people asked him if he wasn’t nervous, why he would “let” me do such a thing and his response and his support towards me just shows what a wonderful man he is…he understands me, he knows what I mean and I know that he needs his space to. He needs to be on his own as well, figure things out, what it’s like to be alone not in Moms house or with his girlfriend but really “out there”.

Truth is right now I miss him a lot…I know he’s alone in a hotel room and Im just very nostalgic about those last moments of the day, when we would cuddle in bed and tell each other everything about our day, being silly and petting Martina. Those little moments are the ones I miss the most and would love to have for just a few minutes daily…

                                                                                                                 
Goodnight for today, start working tomorrow morning and I’m sure it’s going to be  a long first day (aren't they always?)
             

Carta abierta

Amigos y familia, en unos días estoy de cumpleaños y en un mes recibo mi diploma de graduanda de Antropología de la universidad. Les escribo contandoles mis planes en los meses que vienen y una *sugerencia* sobre algun regalo que quiza esten pensando darme. Para mi pedir cosas no es fácil pero en este caso la necesidad y entusiasmo le gana a la pena y me lanzo a escribirles…

Como ya muchos sabrán me voy a Sudafrica en septiembre por tres meses. Llego a Johanesburgo el 13 de septiembre y el 16 comienzo un mes en una reserva llamada Thanda a 3 horas de Durban, enfocandome en mi fotografia de naturaleza y apoyando a las investigaciones de conservacion asi como los programas educativos.

Después, del 14-31 de octubre tengo dos semanas de puro viaje. Encontré un bus tipo hop-on-hop-of diseñado para viajeros backpackers asi que pienso comprar el pase de 14 días y viajar de Durban hasta Cape Town donde me quedare unos días. En Cape Town definitivamente me metere en una jaula a conocer tiburones blancos (esta la opcion de hacer snorkeling pero creo que ese ya es un riesgo bastante alto y no estoy segura de querer tomarlo). De Cape Town vuelo a Durban nuevamente donde cojo bus a Richards Bay.

El 1 de noviembre estaré en Richards Bay para comenzar otro mes en un voluntariado de conservacion marina que se enfoca en recolectar informacion del ecosistema de la zona (Mar Indico), principalmente se enfoca en las poblaciones de tortugas y tiburon ballena pero tambien delfines y manta rayas. Será un mes totalmente marino donde voy a hacer cursos de buceo en las areas que me interese. Termino el 1 de diciembre y regreso a este lado del mundo el 6 de diciembre, esos 4 dias (viajo el 6 madrugado) estare conociendo Johannesburgo.

Como se imaginaran para todo eso necesito…plata! Ya tengo suficiente para los tiquetes y programas a los que voy a participar, pero les escribo pidiendo su ayuda, donacion, regalo, como quieran decirle, para poder costearme mis dos semanas de viaje. Si me conocen bien saben que viajando soy muy ahorrativa asi que la verdad lo que me puedan dar sera aprovechado al maximo y una gran ayuda! Todo mi viaje estare registrandolo en mi blog www.mariantoslittlebox.blogspot.com asi que podrán seguirme en mis aventuras y ver su regalito lo mucho que me ayuda!

Muchas gracias por tomarse el tiempo de leer este “mensajito”! Les mando un abrazo muy grande a todos! 

The crazy lady on the plane? Yes, that would be me

Yes, I am the crazy lady on the plane. For the first time in some years I was actually calm about flying, I was sad about saying goodbye to Pacho and my friends and closing that whole stage of life. So, I get on the plane almost last, my eyes puffy and my nose red from crying. I sit and i'm relaxed, read the planes magazine and put on some Adele on my ipod. After about 45min we finally start moving to the air strip, I close my eyes and try to simply not worry, aware that there will be some bumpiness while we go through the clouds (and on the way down as well).
The plane takes off and I know it has to take a sharp right after (done this route many times). Well, it wasn't a little bumpy it was fucking AWFUL (yes, first time I use the f word on my blog...normally don't like using bad words but its the only way I can explain how bad it was). The whole plane shook horribly, there was a "free fall" sensation and i think at that point was where I lost it, i said "jueputa!" ("fuck") when it happened but apparenly I disnt just say it, i shouted it! The people behind me cracked up, I started crying uncontrollably, an argentinean man diagonal to me tried to calm me down, the man on my right tried to calm me down patting me on the shoulder, the woman on the other side also tried to comfort me..nothing all I could do was TRY to breath (i swear at one point I couldn't breathe). When the ahaking and crazy wind stopped I still kept crying but calming myself sown, the argentinean man explained it was just while we passed the clouds (even though I alrady knew that) he asked if it was my first flight and i told him no but since my brother died I get very scared of flying because I don't want anything to happen to me. He answered not to worry, my brother would be watchig over me...id he only knew every time I get on a plane all I do is ask Cris to be with me.
The lady next to me asked if i wanted some water or anyhong, i said no thanks (at this point i was still in a llittle ball position clenching to my legs). I started calmig down a bit..looking craY because i'd start giggling about the whole situation...yup, i was the crazy lady!
A stewardess who has sat in the seat in front of mine (emergeny exit) atood up and told me that everything would be ok (the same stewardess who asked me if i was feeling well when she saw me get on the plane with puffy eyes and red nose from crying). I said thanks again and started to stretch my legs, then another steward came over with some water and a while after ANOTHER came to ask if i was ok and that the pilot said it was nothing serious just a "little wind" (the Brazilian on my right said "a little? More like a lot!!"...exactly!)


So we are now half way through the flight... Ready for some bumpiness on the way down and seriously embarrassed for being the crazy ass lady on the plane who manages to get on crying and then have a panic attack in the first 5 min f flying....lets hope I don't go crazy mode again.

Last week

So, haven't been on the blogsphere recently...it's been crazy! Moving is awful...well, packing is awful! I  have been very late on my homework for my online course so I had to work hard on that for a few days but it was great, I had the opportunity to go to a dermatology center which treats patients with Hansen disease (Lepra). On the other hand, I've been busy trying to pack my whole damn apartment. In the course of 3.5 years the amount of STUFF i've accumulated is ridiculous. Thankfully my aunts came over today and saved me, in like an hour and a half they were able to do what I couldn't do in 2 days, im gonna say its because of experience.
I still haven't sold everything, my bed, table stand, washing machine, microwave, and green cupboard are still all for sale. I have NO idea where I'll put my bed if I can't sell it in the next...2 days.


Mr. P and I are finally realizing that the day is very close...so every day is more filled with hugs and pauses where we just hold each other and tell each other how much we'll miss this. I love the hugs...lots and lots of hugs each day :) Every night we cuddle closer (Marti included) and just hold each other long and tight, taking in every possible moment...I know i'm gonna miss that the most.




On saturday we had a goodbye lunch/party, it was lots of fun and it was great seeing my college friends and hanging out. Mr. P got amazingly drunk thanks to his friends mischievous plan. I realized that men dont change much..at 15 or 30 they have just as much fun trying to shave someones leg. In this case, after a lot of struggling and fighting they shaved a bit of Mr. P's leg, but it didn't happen easily, it came with a bloody lip and everything! I'll post pics sometime soon.


Time to say goodnight for now, Mr. P has to get up in like 5 hours to do some errands and the light won't let him sleep, plus I'm incredibly tired as well...packing is exhausting!

Se Vende!

Como ya muchos sabrán, me voy de Bogotá! Por lo tanto, tengo todo lo del apartamento a la venta! Si estan interesados en algo por favor me escriben al correo mariaavergara@gmail.com, me dejan un comentario aqui en el blog o me escriben por Facebook! Un abrazo,


aun me faltan algunas cosas por fotografiar, los que conocen mi casa ya saben...pregunten por lo que quieran (cuadros, lamparas, escritorio y silla no están fotografiados aún pero están a la venta!)

1. Mesa de comedor para 4 personas $450.000 pesos
Mide 1.20x.80 VENDIDO

2. Estantería de madera. Perfecto para poner el televisor, caja de cable, dvd, etc. $225.000 pesos
3. Portaretratos florero, $35.000 pesos VENDIDO

4. Lavadora Samsung de 15 lbs, $400.000 pesos

5. Cafetera "to go", incluye los dos mugs y filtros de metal.
Se puede poner a hacer 1 o los 2 mugs, $70.000 pesos

6. Tostadora Black & Decker, $60.000, VENDIDO

7. Microondas Samsung,  $80.000,

8. Mueble para cocina, se puede colgar a la pared, $150.000 pesos

9. Biblioteca de 5 niveles, $150.000

10. Cama doble, con colchón $1.300.000. Sin colchón 900.000
No incluida en la foto, mesa de noche $100.000

11. Mueble con cajones, $120.000, VENDIDO

12. Sofa cama individual, $170.000 pesos. 
Recomendable retapizar o teñir. 

13 y 14. Modular blanco, se pueden poner en distintas posiciones.
$120.000 c/u.
15. Televisor Samsung LCD 20" $85.000 VENDIDO
16. DVD Player, $60.000
17. Mis matas! No se los nombres, la grande de abajo, la de arriba a la izquierda florece
unas flores moradas y la de la derecha es una matica de albahaca. 3 x $50.000.
18. Florero de vidrio grande. $15.000 

 19. Lampara de escritorio, $30.000

 19. "Puff" cubo, $90.000 c/u (tengo 2)

20. Silla de escritorio , $110.000

21. Cajonero de 4 gavetas con rodachines, blanco. $100.000
No esta con ruedas pero las tengo guardadas para ponerselas

22. Archivador metálico color naranja, 1 archivo + 1 cajon. $140.000

23. Mitsubishi Montero 2007 Plateado con 79.000 kms. Placa termina en 2. Cojineria en cuero, películas y pernos de seguridad, en perfecto estado! $36.000.000 negociables.

Currently

Loving: Life. I feel so much support from my family, Mr. P and friends that it makes me feel so happy. I feel great now, having a new goal and something to look forward to makes me feel focused and content.

Reading: Maria Antonieta. I love history, biographies, and specially when they're about queens and royalty...it's fascinating! This particular book is not written like a novel, which I'm more used to reading, but it still manages to grab my attention, learning about how life was during that time. 

Watching: Lots of movies! No shows recently, they're all in their mid-year break which sucks because I have nothing to watch! Watched Madagascar 3 last night and thought it was hilarious, I want to watch it again this time in English to see how it is. The night before that, the new Tim Burton movie...Shadow something? It was a lot funnier than I expected and loved going to the movies with 2 of my college friends, one of them was the "weird, laughing-too-loud guy" which made the whole movie just extra funnier. 

Anticipating: My trip to Africa. It's still a few months away but I'm very excited about it. Also, saying goodbye to Mr.P..but that's not good anticipation, I know it's going to be something incredibly hard to do and am dreading it completely, I haven't been apart from him almost since we started dating so it's something I'm very scared about really.

Listening to: Absolutely nothing...did have a week of Bruno Mars intensity.

Planning: My trip to South Africa! What to take, buying tickets, medical insurance, everything!

Working on: thinking about NOW and TODAY, not fill my head with plans for months ahead. Basically, selling and giving away everything I own in the next 20 days!

Wishing: I were more disciplined and did things I know I need to do ASAP instead of googling the hours away  (and amazoning and ebaying..)

Thanks to Danielle from Sometimes Sweet for the post!

Decisions

Last week before going to Lima I had a conversation with my mom. She was very worried about how I was dealing with things, not really being myself and not understanding the dimension of the decisions I was taking. She was right, I knew that she was right...that I was undecisive and nervous and not completely sure that what I was going to do was O.K. Mainly, because I felt that I needed to do something else, something on my own, something that I love doing...
So, after hearing her out (I was crying too much to talk) I decided to start looking into international internships available, after seeing a million option I found a magnificent project that had my name written all over it - Thanda Photography Project.
Going to a game reserve in South Africa for 6 weeks to photograph wildlife...it's a dream come true. So, without discussing it with my parents, or Mr. P, or my therapist, I decided that was what I was going to do.
I'm going on my own, to do and learn something I'm very passionate about and try to clear my mind and find myself, detach myself from the role of daughter, of girlfriend, and have to just be plain simple me...in a new environment, new culture, new people, new everything. I'ts an experience I have dreamed abotu and never considered a possibility, always worrying about money and costs. But, I have a saving accounts where my parents have saved up money for my education, and I'm using that money for this - for my proffessional interest and what I believe will be a truly amazing learning experience.
My journey will begin in September. The project begins on the 16th and will last 6 weeks. The game park is located in the north of South Africa, near Durban and my days will consists of photography expeditions as well as participating in diverse conservation efforts with the communities in the are or helping out with data bases.
I feel very focused, and it feels great. For the past months I have felt very confused and kinda feeling that life is just passing me by, its an awful sensation. This week, I decided I was going to graduate oficially with the universities ceremony, I realized I did need an "official" closure of this stage of my life. And I also decided I was gonna take this risk, this adventure, this amazing experience and enjoy it to the fullest. I am at peace with my decision and incredibly excited.
The best part of all this has been the support I have recieved from the people that matter to me, my parents, my family, Mr. P. Specially Mr. P, who is aware that we don't really have a date set when we'll meet again...but knows that this is an amazing opportunity and something that I need to do.

This week I also finished my Antigymnastics cycle which was bittersweet. It helped me take this decision. When I began this cycle 2-3 months ago I was in such a different emotional state. I mean, I was depressed...full-on depression. I complained a lot about my internship (I was finishing it when I began this blog) but I believe everything in life happens for a reason. That internship lead me to an emotional crisis, during spring break I touched rock-bottom and realized I needed help and I needed to find a balance in my life. Now, a few months afterwards I feel like I'm there...I feel like I felt years ago, when I had a much clearer way of seeing life and what I wanted. I'm not saying it has been easy, it never has, but it feels great...feeling a bit like my old self again. I still cry, I still miss my brother and something I still get angry over what happened, I don't understand fully why things happened the way they did...but there is no point in me dwelling over it. It's time to live my life, to start my life again, im scared but happy, and the greatest thing of all is feeling loved through all of this.