Happy Birthday to Me!

This weekend was my 24th birthday, no big bash, no big celebration, just enjoying the beach, watching the olympics and eating way too much. I went to my parents friends' house in Bijao with my parents and 2 other couples friends of my parents, it was very relaxing and sadly there was no sun so no tan but it was still great. 
I was tired on friday night so I slept a little and then at around 11:45 woke up to chat a little outside but the conversation was too heated to get in when I had just woken up...so, I went back to bed and checked my watch right when I stepped inside..it was 11.59 pm, and basically the first 10 min of my birthday I cried...I really don't know what I was crying about but I just felt like crying. Its weird...being back home and having Panama as my "home base" but not really feeling it, my room doesn't feel mine and I know I'll only be here for a month so I dont feel or think that settling in has a point. Sure, my parents are here and I love being with them but its weird being in-transit...at home...I'm not unhappy, im simply kind of trying to find my place, physically, here again. Perhaps thats why this past week I've been so "in hiding", I haven't seen any of my friends yet and I feel its because im trying to find my spot, my focus, and a rythm of my day-to-day activities. I also realize that hey, I'm only here for a month, and I need to take advantage of that and see the people I care about and that care about me so starting tommorow with my bday celebration dinner I'm getting off my lazy butt and doing something about my social life, enjoying the people around me as much as I can!




Here are some pictures of the weekend, it was gray and rainy on sunday (and the rain has continued throughout the whole day today) but it was still a great birthday weekend and just what I needed.

A great way to start the day, normal and banana pancakes

These are the breakfasts I love

I love Panama

Two gorgeous ladies, an awesome friendship

The best woman in the world, my momma!

Champagne and good conversations

Relaxation 

Perfection

Chill

One year older

Thinking of you...

And this is how I enjoy spending my birthday...I'm an old lady, I know.

Daddy

My birthday company

Time for dinner!

An incredibly simple and delicious recipe!

My mom struggles using my camera

S.A here I come!!... well..almost

I did it! My first international bank transfer...I have oficially paid both my photography and marine conservation volunteer programs, I have bought my plane tickets...and I only have like $1,000 left for, well, everything! I'm scared about the money stuff but im excited, with everything bought already I know I'm going there no matter what and I'll worry about food and hotels during my weeks of travel laters (I'm a very cheap traveler...just ask my mom whom I made sleep at Munich airport just so we'd save the cab fare).
Now I need to get all my papers in order to send my passport out for the visa application - THAT makes me nervous, especially because I need my passport back on time to go to Bogota for my graduation. I also need to buy my insurance tommorow morning, not sure about getting normal or premium though. The difference is $50,000 vs $250,000 for coverage and like $85 difference in total so...I'll probably get the premium, its not that much more and honestly better be safe than sorry!


I have no idea how I'll fall asleep tonight, too excited about life! I'm gonna go give a try though, goodnight everyone!

ByeBye Bogota

To start with, YEY my picture of Rudolf was one of the favorites for the Paper Mama Pet Photo Challenge..although for some darn reason I can't seem to get the button to work, all I get is this: 

<div align="center"><a href="http://thepapermama.com/" title="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" target="_blank"><img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7049/6973777489_f5b60d9504_o.jpg" alt="The Paper Mama Photo Challenge" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Clearly I'm a newbie in the blogging world.

Yey! I did it! After many attempts and apparently I wasn't the only one having problems.

So, it happened...I said goodbye to Bogota and it was a lot harder than I thought. I mean, I know I’m going back in a month and I'll see everyone again but still...it was tough. It's closing a whole cycle of my life, four years of my life were spent there...I met friends, I traveled, I lived! Still, it didn't hit me until I was saying goodbye at the airport to some of my friends and Mr. P's family who has taken me in with so much love. 

Saying bye to Mr. P was definitely much, much harder than I expected, I think harder than we both thought it would be. I can't imagine what it must have felt for him...not saying bye to me but saying goodbye to his home city, to his family and friends, and going to a whole new country where he doesn't know anyone at all to start a new life! Heck, I'm nervous for him! 

I know I will see Mr. P in a month for a few days, I know it was me who made the decision not to go with him, to venture on my own for this self-exploration that I need to do…but still, there were a couple of times when we were waiting for my plane to beard that I doubted myself, I doubted my decision, there were a few seconds where I said to myself “are you really sure about what you’re doing?” but then I knew, I know, it is the right thing.

I am aware that things might not be the same with Mr. P after I get back, that I might stay in Panama or find somewhere else to go in life, but it is a risk I feel I have to take. I cannot go through life wondering what could have been, and then find myself in five years regretting decisions I did or didn’t take. Many people asked him if he wasn’t nervous, why he would “let” me do such a thing and his response and his support towards me just shows what a wonderful man he is…he understands me, he knows what I mean and I know that he needs his space to. He needs to be on his own as well, figure things out, what it’s like to be alone not in Moms house or with his girlfriend but really “out there”.

Truth is right now I miss him a lot…I know he’s alone in a hotel room and Im just very nostalgic about those last moments of the day, when we would cuddle in bed and tell each other everything about our day, being silly and petting Martina. Those little moments are the ones I miss the most and would love to have for just a few minutes daily…

                                                                                                                 
Goodnight for today, start working tomorrow morning and I’m sure it’s going to be  a long first day (aren't they always?)
             

Carta abierta

Amigos y familia, en unos días estoy de cumpleaños y en un mes recibo mi diploma de graduanda de Antropología de la universidad. Les escribo contandoles mis planes en los meses que vienen y una *sugerencia* sobre algun regalo que quiza esten pensando darme. Para mi pedir cosas no es fácil pero en este caso la necesidad y entusiasmo le gana a la pena y me lanzo a escribirles…

Como ya muchos sabrán me voy a Sudafrica en septiembre por tres meses. Llego a Johanesburgo el 13 de septiembre y el 16 comienzo un mes en una reserva llamada Thanda a 3 horas de Durban, enfocandome en mi fotografia de naturaleza y apoyando a las investigaciones de conservacion asi como los programas educativos.

Después, del 14-31 de octubre tengo dos semanas de puro viaje. Encontré un bus tipo hop-on-hop-of diseñado para viajeros backpackers asi que pienso comprar el pase de 14 días y viajar de Durban hasta Cape Town donde me quedare unos días. En Cape Town definitivamente me metere en una jaula a conocer tiburones blancos (esta la opcion de hacer snorkeling pero creo que ese ya es un riesgo bastante alto y no estoy segura de querer tomarlo). De Cape Town vuelo a Durban nuevamente donde cojo bus a Richards Bay.

El 1 de noviembre estaré en Richards Bay para comenzar otro mes en un voluntariado de conservacion marina que se enfoca en recolectar informacion del ecosistema de la zona (Mar Indico), principalmente se enfoca en las poblaciones de tortugas y tiburon ballena pero tambien delfines y manta rayas. Será un mes totalmente marino donde voy a hacer cursos de buceo en las areas que me interese. Termino el 1 de diciembre y regreso a este lado del mundo el 6 de diciembre, esos 4 dias (viajo el 6 madrugado) estare conociendo Johannesburgo.

Como se imaginaran para todo eso necesito…plata! Ya tengo suficiente para los tiquetes y programas a los que voy a participar, pero les escribo pidiendo su ayuda, donacion, regalo, como quieran decirle, para poder costearme mis dos semanas de viaje. Si me conocen bien saben que viajando soy muy ahorrativa asi que la verdad lo que me puedan dar sera aprovechado al maximo y una gran ayuda! Todo mi viaje estare registrandolo en mi blog www.mariantoslittlebox.blogspot.com asi que podrán seguirme en mis aventuras y ver su regalito lo mucho que me ayuda!

Muchas gracias por tomarse el tiempo de leer este “mensajito”! Les mando un abrazo muy grande a todos! 

The crazy lady on the plane? Yes, that would be me

Yes, I am the crazy lady on the plane. For the first time in some years I was actually calm about flying, I was sad about saying goodbye to Pacho and my friends and closing that whole stage of life. So, I get on the plane almost last, my eyes puffy and my nose red from crying. I sit and i'm relaxed, read the planes magazine and put on some Adele on my ipod. After about 45min we finally start moving to the air strip, I close my eyes and try to simply not worry, aware that there will be some bumpiness while we go through the clouds (and on the way down as well).
The plane takes off and I know it has to take a sharp right after (done this route many times). Well, it wasn't a little bumpy it was fucking AWFUL (yes, first time I use the f word on my blog...normally don't like using bad words but its the only way I can explain how bad it was). The whole plane shook horribly, there was a "free fall" sensation and i think at that point was where I lost it, i said "jueputa!" ("fuck") when it happened but apparenly I disnt just say it, i shouted it! The people behind me cracked up, I started crying uncontrollably, an argentinean man diagonal to me tried to calm me down, the man on my right tried to calm me down patting me on the shoulder, the woman on the other side also tried to comfort me..nothing all I could do was TRY to breath (i swear at one point I couldn't breathe). When the ahaking and crazy wind stopped I still kept crying but calming myself sown, the argentinean man explained it was just while we passed the clouds (even though I alrady knew that) he asked if it was my first flight and i told him no but since my brother died I get very scared of flying because I don't want anything to happen to me. He answered not to worry, my brother would be watchig over me...id he only knew every time I get on a plane all I do is ask Cris to be with me.
The lady next to me asked if i wanted some water or anyhong, i said no thanks (at this point i was still in a llittle ball position clenching to my legs). I started calmig down a bit..looking craY because i'd start giggling about the whole situation...yup, i was the crazy lady!
A stewardess who has sat in the seat in front of mine (emergeny exit) atood up and told me that everything would be ok (the same stewardess who asked me if i was feeling well when she saw me get on the plane with puffy eyes and red nose from crying). I said thanks again and started to stretch my legs, then another steward came over with some water and a while after ANOTHER came to ask if i was ok and that the pilot said it was nothing serious just a "little wind" (the Brazilian on my right said "a little? More like a lot!!"...exactly!)


So we are now half way through the flight... Ready for some bumpiness on the way down and seriously embarrassed for being the crazy ass lady on the plane who manages to get on crying and then have a panic attack in the first 5 min f flying....lets hope I don't go crazy mode again.

La loca del avion? Si, esa soy yp!

Como he mencionado previamentr, desde que murió Cris le tengo mucho miedo a volar. En un avión no hay nada q hacer...si se cayó adios vida. Por lo tanto me angustia mucho q algo pase porque no quiero q mis papaa y familia pasen por algo asi nurvamente.

Sin embargo, el dia de hoy me monye tranquila al avion. Tranquila en el sntido que no estaba pensando en la turbulencia y conciente de q iba a haber algo de turbulencia de subida y de bajada, mientraa pasamos las nubes. Ademas mi cabeza estaba en otta cosa, aun llorosa se despedirme se Pacho y amigos y de cerrar una etapa muy importante de mi vida. Me sente, lei una revista, puse musica y por fin fuimos a despegar. Cerre los ojos y me enfoque en respirar y disfrutar mi musica...eso duro como 30 seg dsps de despegar.
El avion comenzo a temblar...normal. Hasta q le da por hacer el chiste del vacio/caida libre, momento en el cual dije "jueputa"...bueno, aparentemente lo grite (tenia audifonos) y con voz y cara de panico. Los de atraa se rieron, el señor argentini a mi diagonal me dijo q tranquila q era normal..la turbulencia seguia, yo lloraba descontrolada con ojos cerrados y posicion fetal...el señor brasilero a mi derecha me trataba de calmar...seguia en histeria, tratando de respirar y calmarme (hubo un momentk en q creo q literalmentr no me entraba aire).
Por fin se fue calmando la vaina, el argentino me explico q era mientras pasabamos las nubes (yo ya sabia esto), me pregunto si era mi primera ve volando y le dije q no y le expliquebpq me angustiaba tanto...me respondio q mi hmno me estaba cuidando q tranquila (si supiera q no hago mas q hablarle a Cris cuando me monto a un avion). La señora de al lado me pregunto si queria agua o algo...yo seguia llorando pero con momentoa de risa de la situacion en la q me habia metido. La azafata q estaba sentada enfrente (puerta emergencia) se levanto y me dijo q tanquila q no hania pasado...al rato vino otro azafato a darme un vaso de agua (creo q el señor argentino se paro a pedirmela). Despues vino el OTRO azafato a decirme q solo fue un poco de viento y que el piloto madaba a decir q no me preocupara q no habia pasado nada. Ya en este momento yo solo decia gracias y mi pena aumentaba..que show el que hicd! Bueno por lo menos se que podre compartirlo con mi amiga Viky y lo entendera :p
Ahora estamos comenzando a bajar a Panamá...espero q no este tan grave como la salida. Ya tengoclaro q de aqui a septiembre q salga me va a tocar resolver este miedito porque de pty-ny y ny-joh seguro temblara en algun momento. Creo q voy a comprae de mi relajante muscular y doparme esaa horaa se vuelo, me ahorro el show, panico y descanso!

Last week

So, haven't been on the blogsphere recently...it's been crazy! Moving is awful...well, packing is awful! I  have been very late on my homework for my online course so I had to work hard on that for a few days but it was great, I had the opportunity to go to a dermatology center which treats patients with Hansen disease (Lepra). On the other hand, I've been busy trying to pack my whole damn apartment. In the course of 3.5 years the amount of STUFF i've accumulated is ridiculous. Thankfully my aunts came over today and saved me, in like an hour and a half they were able to do what I couldn't do in 2 days, im gonna say its because of experience.
I still haven't sold everything, my bed, table stand, washing machine, microwave, and green cupboard are still all for sale. I have NO idea where I'll put my bed if I can't sell it in the next...2 days.


Mr. P and I are finally realizing that the day is very close...so every day is more filled with hugs and pauses where we just hold each other and tell each other how much we'll miss this. I love the hugs...lots and lots of hugs each day :) Every night we cuddle closer (Marti included) and just hold each other long and tight, taking in every possible moment...I know i'm gonna miss that the most.




On saturday we had a goodbye lunch/party, it was lots of fun and it was great seeing my college friends and hanging out. Mr. P got amazingly drunk thanks to his friends mischievous plan. I realized that men dont change much..at 15 or 30 they have just as much fun trying to shave someones leg. In this case, after a lot of struggling and fighting they shaved a bit of Mr. P's leg, but it didn't happen easily, it came with a bloody lip and everything! I'll post pics sometime soon.


Time to say goodnight for now, Mr. P has to get up in like 5 hours to do some errands and the light won't let him sleep, plus I'm incredibly tired as well...packing is exhausting!

Rudolf! PaperMama Photo Contest

So, my first time participating in a  Photo contest! This is Rudolf, the coolest and cutest bunny ever! He was the best company possible but sadly passed away a few month ago after making me smile for 3 years!

Se Vende!

Como ya muchos sabrán, me voy de Bogotá! Por lo tanto, tengo todo lo del apartamento a la venta! Si estan interesados en algo por favor me escriben al correo mariaavergara@gmail.com, me dejan un comentario aqui en el blog o me escriben por Facebook! Un abrazo,


aun me faltan algunas cosas por fotografiar, los que conocen mi casa ya saben...pregunten por lo que quieran (cuadros, lamparas, escritorio y silla no están fotografiados aún pero están a la venta!)

1. Mesa de comedor para 4 personas $450.000 pesos
Mide 1.20x.80 VENDIDO

2. Estantería de madera. Perfecto para poner el televisor, caja de cable, dvd, etc. $225.000 pesos
3. Portaretratos florero, $35.000 pesos VENDIDO

4. Lavadora Samsung de 15 lbs, $400.000 pesos

5. Cafetera "to go", incluye los dos mugs y filtros de metal.
Se puede poner a hacer 1 o los 2 mugs, $70.000 pesos

6. Tostadora Black & Decker, $60.000, VENDIDO

7. Microondas Samsung,  $80.000,

8. Mueble para cocina, se puede colgar a la pared, $150.000 pesos

9. Biblioteca de 5 niveles, $150.000

10. Cama doble, con colchón $1.300.000. Sin colchón 900.000
No incluida en la foto, mesa de noche $100.000

11. Mueble con cajones, $120.000, VENDIDO

12. Sofa cama individual, $170.000 pesos. 
Recomendable retapizar o teñir. 

13 y 14. Modular blanco, se pueden poner en distintas posiciones.
$120.000 c/u.
15. Televisor Samsung LCD 20" $85.000 VENDIDO
16. DVD Player, $60.000
17. Mis matas! No se los nombres, la grande de abajo, la de arriba a la izquierda florece
unas flores moradas y la de la derecha es una matica de albahaca. 3 x $50.000.
18. Florero de vidrio grande. $15.000 

 19. Lampara de escritorio, $30.000

 19. "Puff" cubo, $90.000 c/u (tengo 2)

20. Silla de escritorio , $110.000

21. Cajonero de 4 gavetas con rodachines, blanco. $100.000
No esta con ruedas pero las tengo guardadas para ponerselas

22. Archivador metálico color naranja, 1 archivo + 1 cajon. $140.000

23. Mitsubishi Montero 2007 Plateado con 79.000 kms. Placa termina en 2. Cojineria en cuero, películas y pernos de seguridad, en perfecto estado! $36.000.000 negociables.

Lulo Cheescake

My friend Juli gave me an early graduation present, a Lulo Cheescake! And even better, I learned how to make cheescake (it's dangerously easy to make...which means I'll be making lots of it!)
I have no idea what Lulo is called in english, Juli and I talked about it and she said someone told her it was called "wild apple". In Panama they call it "naranjilla"...but really, you can make your cheescake with whatever you prefer. I personally love lulo, its super acid and delicious.
So, here goes my first recipe post!

All the ingredients necessary.
1 Egg, Lemons, Cream Cheese, Lulo (or any fruit you prefer),
Butter, Cookies (and sugar, not pictured)

Melt the butter and add the crushed cookies until the mix sticks in the pan

Cover the pan in the yummy cookie mix 

In a blender, add the cream cheese

...one egg...

...lemon juice... 

...some sugar...

and MIX.
The amount of sugar and lemon juice depends on you!
Personally, I like it more acid than sweet. 

When the mix is homogeneous and soft, pour it onto the pan 

And into the oven! The time in the oven is about 20 min, at medium heat.
Check to see when the mix is firm and bubbles appear on top, then its ready!

While the cheescake is cooking, start peeling or preparing your fruit.
With lulo, you must peel it well first and then cut it into big chunks.

Add some sugar to taste and let the fruit simmer for a while until tender and the liquid is gooey.

When the cheescake is ready let it cool for a while before adding the fruit 

Add the fruit to your cheescake and its almost ready!

Juli and I realized why lulo cheescake is never offered in restaurants,
the greenish gooey lulo doesn't look too appetizing 

Leave to cool in the fridge!

We were extra anxious about
eating some so we put it in the freezer for a while to speed up the process.

Deliciousness...pure deliciousness.

Hope you enjoyed it, im doing another one next week but instead of lulo I will be using raspberries...can't wait!