You know
those days? Yea, those days when you think the world has got to be playing a
trick on you? I mean, one of those days when you wake up completely anaware of
the shittstorm your about to face. There should be a warning of some kind or
something!
Today was
one of those days…For those who don’t know I’m working as a teacher aid in a
2nd grade class, my responsability is to focus mainly on one child. Today, no
teacher…substitute. I don’t know what it is about not having their homeroom
teacher but kids go CRAZY when this happens. I mean, their volumen and pitch
doubles, their energy level skyrockets and their attention span…well, a mouse
can probably focus for longer. It was, overall, a hard day at work, feeling
defeated and making me question myself about what I’m doing with life.
I had some
frozen yogurt after my extra-long work day (1.5 extra hours) to try to make
myself feel better. It helped. I had a vainilla frozen yogurt with frozen
blueberries and raspberries and I added some healthy chocolate snack thingy I
had leftover. It was good. I thought things were better. Wrong.
Cramps.
Yes, cramps…bad ones. I’m just glad they got me when I was finished working
because I would have probably ended up having some crazy angry and painful
meltdown in front of a whole bunch of 8 year olds if not. So, there I am…after
enjoying my frozen yogurt, breathing out the cramps.
Go buy some
stuff for my dad…its all good. Then go get some tickets for my mom. Its all NOT
good. I buy the $110 instead of the $40. To my defense, I had NO idea I was
supposed to buy the $40 and had bought another set of extra tickets a few days
before from the more expensive section. Shitt. No turning them back. Screwed.
Also, the
genius fellow who sells you these tickets now informs you that if you want to
sit together you have to buy tickets “H 58, J 58, K 58” and not “H 58, 59, 60”.
Thank you for telling me this TODAY Mr! After I bought three tickets from you a
few days ago and you said NOTHING. So, for the show, me and my family will look
like idiot ducks one behind the other instead of being able to enjoy the show
next to each other (and off course the more behind you are, the worst vis).
Off course
when things are not going great you just HAVE to meet every moron on the road.
I would prefer having some “juega vivo” that just pisses me off and I can
probably lash out at, instead…I get not one but three 15km/h drivers in a
residential area, with rain and no chance of passing them. Seriously? Come ON!
To make
everything a little better, off course there is a giant pimple on my face,
result of a stressful weekend event. Yey.
Now,
writing it all down it does seem silly or dumb that im upset. But for it to be
“one of those days” I just think it’s a combination of shitty things on a day
or moment where you’re just not up for it. I know I can have a day like this
some other time and it won’t fuck me up so bad, but today it just did. It got
to me. And worst thing, instead of going to the gym and sweating half of the
frustration away I just closed myself up and allowed more crappy things to
happen.
Before I started
writing this, after I brushed my teeth and put on my PJs and while I undid my
bed, I told myself “what are you doing? You’ve had shitt SO much worst than
this, you’ve had worst days than today so stop complaining”. And then I
realize, I’m having a shitty day like anyone else would…my brothers death does
not define or affect this one shitty day. It makes me look at it and realize,
it really isn’t all that shitty. And it forces myself to be thankful for what I
DO have and for the good things that surround me. To enjoy my dogs presence,
who understands it’s not a good day and isn’t all crazy as usual but
accompanies me with silence.
Man, I do
wish he was here though…I would love to be able to talk to someone when I get
home from a day like this, complain about our parents together and try to
balance things out better, go with him for some frozen yogurt or to the gym.
Yea, I think this crappy shitty day just ended a little better and a
little worst. It made me realize how much I MISS YOU…and it also made me
realize, its just a day and tomorrow will be different with all its
unpredictions and problems and I’ll just have to face
